SO FAR YET SO CLOSE...

Hey fam! It feels so good to write after not having the chance to for a while. Semesters are coming to a close so girls are getting more occupied by the minute...
So before I write today, I want to shout out to my girl, Lush...was on her blog some minutes ago and it is some good stuff. So check it out..colourherlush.wordpress.com.
Now to the business...
Do you have those days when you just feel disconnected? When you pray and you feel your prayers are just hitting the roof and bouncing back? Are there days when you just doubt everything? Or days when the hardness of life knocks you off your feet and you feel you cannot get up because you are too tired? Let's not forget the days when you just feel nothing...
Everybody feels this. Those down days... we all got 'em.
Years ago in secondary school, I had one of these days...more like a period. And I had tried to study my bible and pray and worship but just wasn't 'feeling' it. That got me feeling worse... God felt far, too far. I started to think of what I did wrong that day that caused me to feel such distance or feel so inadequate.
And trust me, there is always gonna be a fault with you as long as you are searching for it. But after that didn't solve it. So I went out of my hostel for a walk and ran into a friend who was older and in a higher class than me. We got talking and he probed to know why I was looking so glum. I told him. And he said, "Dew, it is the times you feel God is very far that he is the closest to you". I didn't understand. He tried to explain but I still didn't get it. Not until recently...
 You see, you can never know how bright a light shines until it's really dark. So it's like this; for you to appreciate the light it needs to be dark... the darker it is, the brighter the light. We would never really need anything or anyone if we were adequte in ourselves.. we would never need to depend on anyone in any way if we could satisfy our every need ourselves. There wouldn't be a need for God if we could be okay just by ourselves... Get the picture???
So the more the need and hunger for God, the more of God we get. Now I understand why Paul in 2 corinthians(paraphrasing now) said he was comfortable with weakness. Because the weaker I am, the stronger he becomes. The less of myself, the more of him. The lesser time we spend focusing on our works, the more we can rely on what he has already accomplished for us.
So next time you feel too weak to get up, remember it's a good thing because now you can ask for his grace and strength which is readily available to you. It will pick you up and keep you standing. I told a friend some days ago that if we don't pass through some thorny bushes on our way to greatness, the testimony will not be extraordinary when we are telling it. If Moses had just gone to Pharoh and said let my people go and Pharoh just said, 'ok..you all can leave'. I don't know if the story will be worth telling. We would not have seen God's greatness. In fact, we would have found some logical explanation for why he let them go so easy...
Next time, your life does not make sense on it's own..smile because you know it's bout to shock everyone around you!